May I share this with you?

Gus Morris · Post by **Gus Morris** » Thu 27 Jul 2017 18:16

Iâ€™ve lived down here for many years. This is my home and I enjoy sharing the experience with any who will listen. Like most people I have my likes and dislikes. From time to time I see items upon which I hold quite strong views. Mostly I keep quiet. Though I might well come out of my shell and give an opinion if I saw somebody promoting the corrida!

The bulk of posts these days are in the Q&A category. That is understandable. There are thankfully few contributors who use this forum as a thinly disguised advertising medium. I read that most of the activity that used to take place in the forum format has moved to Facebook. Thus, if I want to gauge the mood among ex-pats on the Brexit question, I have little choice but to use a Facebook ID. But I almost never contribute.

It saddens me to see that we have recently strayed into troubled waters. Thanks to the untiring efforts of Kate this forum is still afloat where so many have floundered. Iâ€™m not suggesting that the content should be all pink and fluffy. There are serious items out there that need to be discussed, But letâ€™s do it with a modicum of decorum.

In a phrase. If you donâ€™t have something constructive to say â€“ why say it?â€

Gus Morris

Allan · Post by **Allan** » Fri 28 Jul 2017 14:27

Owens88 · Post by **Owens88** » Fri 28 Jul 2017 16:14

Another problem is the issue. I once participated in a lively and friendly debate in a French bar where the subject was the Renault white Van vs. Citroen. However if you advance the level of seriousness all the way up to Brexit then debate becomes nigh impossible. People have beliefs and are saying anything to support their stance. One National activist in the UK, a normally 'good' and rational person, admitted this to me !

Add to that people with legitimate fears being spiced up by media people hypothesising what the outcome will be and the emotional frying pan becomes too hot for me.

We can probably all agree that that the UK **** team is making a Horlicks of it (for **** read negotiating, football, Rugby or cricket as you wish).

For myself I have interests in the environment, equality and economics (and I do recognise that economic thinking did not stop evolving with Keynes). OR I could get more serious and moan about the lack of real ale in the Pyrenees Orientales.

Good luck. or Bonne courage !

Allan · Post by **Allan** » Fri 28 Jul 2017 16:44

Owens88 wrote: We can probably all agree that that the UK **** team is making a Horlicks of it (for **** read negotiating, football, Rugby or cricket as you wish).

Not at all, our women's cricket team has just one the World Cup and the football team is doing well in the Euros
As for the negotiating team, I don't think any of us actually know, since every negotiating ploy is leaked to the press as if it were fact.

Owens88 · Post by **Owens88** » Fri 28 Jul 2017 17:00

agreed

Post by **Kate** » Sat 29 Jul 2017 08:44

But what none of you take into account is the different levels of sensitivity. Some people (myself included) do not want to be involved in confrontation, even on screen. Life can be stressful enough without being insulted or put down on a small local forum!!

I think that discussion on a forum is healthy - after all the original definition of a forum was 'a meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged' - but those of you with strong opinions or a strong voice (not necessarily the same thing) have a tendency to be intolerant of others and to assume that if they dont agree, they are wrong and need to be told!!

And guess who usually gets the backlash???? People blame me when I dont take action to warn somebody they feel is being offensive - and they blame me when I do!! Lose lose for me, so please be gentle with your words when you debate colourful issues....and if anyone would like to be an admin on this forum, please let me know!

Allan · Post by **Allan** » Sat 29 Jul 2017 09:08

Kate wrote:But what none of you take into account is the different levels of sensitivity. Some people (myself included) do not want to be involved in confrontation, even on screen. Life can be stressful enough without being insulted or put down on a small local forum!!

I think that discussion on a forum is healthy - after all the original definition of a forum was 'a meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged' - but those of you with strong opinions or a strong voice (not necessarily the same thing) have a tendency to be intolerant of others and to assume that if they dont agree, they are wrong and need to be told!!

And guess who usually gets the backlash???? People blame me when I dont take action to warn somebody they feel is being offensive - and they blame me when I do!! Lose lose for me, so please be gentle with your words when you debate colourful issues....and if anyone would like to be an admin on this forum, please let me know!

All well and good Kate but I read every post on this forum and I rarely see any posts of the type to which you refer.

There must be an awful lot of hyper-sensitive people around if you are inundated with complaints.

Webdoc · Post by **Webdoc** » Sat 29 Jul 2017 10:04

I too have been a member of this Forum for 11+ years and have read every post.

The forum has been through worse in the past, and survived thanks to Kate remaining undaunted. There have been one or two true trolls who were ejected, a few irritable members with a short fuse who were also eventually shown the door, and for a period a real cabal of angry members who demanded "their right to free speech" ignoring the fact that this is Kate's playground and she makes the rules.

Interestingly this cabal moved off to another local forum and, after several years, expressed some regret about their behaviour and implied they were older and wiser now.

This forum may not be full of the lively debate that some would like but it remains the most useful resource for information, help and advice on a thousand different topics. Well done Kate and Thank You.

martyn94 · Post by **martyn94** » Sat 29 Jul 2017 14:16

Kate wrote: I think that discussion on a forum is healthy - after all the original definition of a forum was 'a meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged'

And with some risk of being thrown off the Tarpeian Rock if people disagreed. At least we haven't yet come to that, though I've got a useful cliff in my back garden if anyone's tempted.

Post by **Kate** » Sat 29 Jul 2017 18:59

Aw Webdoc.

Certainly not inundated with complaints Allan, and even the ones I have are gentle. But yes, some people are sensitive, and that is their right.....in the same way that it's your right not to be

M is an important and knowledgeable member of the forum....he just needs a prod every now and then to take care how he expresses himself - but I would add that he always takes it well and tries to tone it down for a time.

Big pussy cat really like you!

Webdoc · Post by **Webdoc** » Sat 29 Jul 2017 19:11

Now don't start calling ME a big pussy!

Post by **Kate** » Sun 30 Jul 2017 00:47

Oooops, predictive text changed cat into scattered.. changed back now!

Owens88 · Post by **Owens88** » Sun 30 Jul 2017 11:40

A useful rule of thumb is to stick to arguing the ideas, surely?

One of the toxic aspects of the brexit debate was the way we were all divided inti camps and arguments descended into personal slurs, even if unintentional.

Gus Morris · Post by **Gus Morris** » Sun 30 Jul 2017 12:08

I'm off on my travels again. No further comments from me on this topic. Other than to observe that, apart from Kate responding in her capacity as Boss Lady, all other posts have come from men.

I'll keep an eye on this forum when I get the chance- of course!

Gus

martyn94 · Post by **martyn94** » Sun 30 Jul 2017 22:11

Owens88 wrote:A useful rule of thumb is to stick to arguing the ideas, surely?

One of the toxic aspects of the brexit debate was the way we were all divided inti camps and arguments descended into personal slurs, even if unintentional.

I don't recall that, though I don't see how you can argue about the biggest issue in my adult lifetime without to some degree falling into "camps". The interesting (or depressing) thing is how little sense the "demographics" of the vote made in terms of intelligible self-interest.

martyn94 · Post by **martyn94** » Sun 30 Jul 2017 22:36

Gus Morris wrote:I'm off on my travels again. No further comments from me on this topic. Other than to observe that, apart from Kate responding in her capacity as Boss Lady, all other posts have come from men.

I'll keep an eye on this forum when I get the chance- of course!

Gus

I'm nowhere near masochistic enough to re-read all my posts, but I can't recall ever disclosing my gender.

Webdoc · Post by **Webdoc** » Sun 30 Jul 2017 23:35

martyn94 wrote: I'm nowhere near masochistic enough to re-read all my posts, but I can't recall ever disclosing my gender.

Quite so. What on earth would make anyone assume that a person called Martyn was male?

Santiago · Post by **Santiago** » Mon 31 Jul 2017 10:55

Admittedly I don't use the forum so much since PO Life moved to Facebook but I don't really understand where the OP is coming from at all.

Has there been another spat of "banter" i.e. grumpy blokes arguing and getting personal?

Allan · Post by **Allan** » Mon 31 Jul 2017 11:28

Santiago wrote:Admittedly I don't use the forum so much since PO Life moved to Facebook but I don't really understand where the OP is coming from at all.

Has there been another spat of "banter" i.e. grumpy blokes arguing and getting personal?

Not that I have noticed

Post by **Kate** » Mon 31 Jul 2017 12:32

Nooooo, hasnt been any of that. No arguments, no bad boys, no grumpiness....just a certain tone that sometimes upsets some people accompanied by a little reminder to be nice!

martyn94 · Post by **martyn94** » Mon 31 Jul 2017 19:20

Webdoc wrote:
martyn94 wrote: I'm nowhere near masochistic enough to re-read all my posts, but I can't recall ever disclosing my gender.
Quite so. What on earth would make anyone assume that a person called Martyn was male?

I have female friends called Robyn, so I had hoped that Martyn might be androgynous enough. Even assuming that it's my real name.

But of course it is my name, and I am a bloke. But I think it's still the first time I've actually said so.

Owens88 · Post by **Owens88** » Tue 01 Aug 2017 19:07

Well done Martyn. We are all supportive of you 'coming out'.

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