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Posted: Thu 27 Sep 2018 13:57
by martyn94
I’ve just come back from a funeral, entirely by accident. I took the silly little dog down to the quai to buy some bread and a newspaper, and then took him up to place de l’obélisque to have a trot round.

When I got there, I found that they had cleared the front half of the car park, and put a coffin there on trestles (with flowers, but not wreaths that I saw): there was a decent but not huge crowd of mourners. The master of ceremonies spoke briefly (and obviously knew the deceased, so far as I could judge from a discreet distance). And then they played some mild jazz over the PA. And then someone else spoke. And more jazz. And then more, briefly, from the MC. And then they took him off to be burnt (at something well over 80, as I gathered from the speeches).

I would settle for that, on such a lovely day as today (assuming that it’s compulsory to do something to get rid of the body, as I guess it is).

I think I will have “Muskrat Rambleâ€￾ as my “going-to-the-cremâ€￾ music

although the original version on the “Hot Fives and Sevensâ€￾ is far better.

Posted: Fri 28 Sep 2018 08:19
by sue and paul
My father died in Nelson New Zealand, where he had lived since leaving UK with my brothers for the last 35 years of his life. He was able to plan for the day.....he chose a non-religious celebrant, and his music was a selection of Louis Armstrong and Dean Martin. The room was filled with the many friends he had made, and knowing that it was just as he wanted was a great comfort to my brothers and myself on a difficult day

Posted: Sun 30 Sep 2018 17:54
by martyn94
Any day when you bury/burn your father is a difficult day: it’s just as well that you only have to do it once.

I don’t think that my own father’s (standard crematorium, minimally religious) funeral was very satisfying (if that’s a word that you can tastefully use). He certainly didn’t plan it, nor would he ever have thought to do so if he had had more warning. But I’m not sure he would have wanted a “celebrantâ€￾ either: he didn’t have much time for bullshit. Not that it was an option then.

I posted my own post because what I saw was about the most minimal way I can imagine of drawing a formal line to a life in a post-religious society. If that’s what you think you need to do